Haunted
by Astrea Xenophon
Summary: C.C. is haunted by the memory of Lelouch. Set directly after R2. A short oneshot for waterangel's 100 theme challenge


100 THEME CHALLENGE

CHAPTER 14 – HAUNTED

C.C. was the name she used. Her memories had spanned an unnatural number of years and so she had been quite finished with life decades ago. Perhaps if it were not for the curse, she may have treasured her time a little more carefully. For without the days she had spent bound to the Earth, she could never have hoped to have lived to an age where the planet appeared to be of some interest to her; a cruel, manipulative board to decide the fate of many human lives, but still interesting none the less. A predicament she willingly found herself at the heart of.

She had spent much of the revolution hidden in the room of a teenage boy, watching everything unfold, questioning her only company about his plans and ideas, out of sight but not out of mind she figured.

He called her a witch and she agreed. She felt she had lost her humanity quite some time ago. Whatever it is that actually deems a person to be humane she was never quite sure of. She had lost her faith when her childish dreams of love and affection collapsed around her and so the act of caring meant less and less over tainted years. Eventually she was merely an observer watching the world, alive yet not truly living.

Lelouch had appeared a prime candidate for ending her life and brought her reason to wait. To pause for the curse to sweep him up and leave her own body like the parasite it was. Robbing those it inhabited of living life to its fullest, condemning those cursed to the life of an outsider. She felt little contempt for the curse itself. Her wish had been granted after all, it was her own fault that she had not understood the consequences when she gave her consent.

So she waited. Watching with curious eyes as to how the child would utilise the curse to his advantage, contemplating whether her end would be near, irrational fears that he could end up like Mao occasionally rising like bubbles in her sea of thought… She waited until her end was within grasp… and the child stole her freedom from her so swiftly, an act of selfishness on his part.

Nonetheless she couldn't deny she was slightly flattered, even though it was more likely that Lelouch just needed her for one of his extravagant plans, or to act as a sort of stunt double when he needed to be in two places in a single moment. When her initial anger had faded she wondered where she might travel next, she chose to hope despite the wrongs done to her by such a foggy feeling. She hoped that somewhere in Lelouch's heart he did care. She hoped that he had some kind of plan to help her at least somewhat, believed it was his duty after robbing her of her death. With nothing else to do but wait once more for an opportunity to arise, C.C. devoted her time to the rebellion at Lelouch's orders. Watching and waiting. Remembering and living in the moment again.

She hadn't noticed how she had been enjoying her comparatively short time with Lelouch until the happy days they had spent arguing ideas back and forth were gone. Lelouch descended into tyranny and was soon dead; their hours spent in common silence meaning nothing to anyone but her anymore, he would be shunned in the history books but she would try to remember. She believed he had left before his time, too soon for her to cherish those moments, ingrain them into her existence and understand them enough to tell Lelouch how much she had really enjoyed their shared memories. After snatching away her own right to death, she deemed it unfair for him to leave.

She began a new life. A peaceful one and also her last, yet she was haunted by his image. Ghosts from her memory hiding glamorous masks under beds, shouts of royal frustration as the school cat ran amok around the halls, cheerful remarks that solely pizza was not an appropriate diet for a lady. It was too much to bear most days and she sought constant distraction through books and wild day dreams whilst she lazed around the orchards. Hours spent casually in the arms of a tree, half expecting a commanding voice to yell at her to get down. Someone might see her and besides, he would need her to keep an eye on the news so he could gather the tide of public opinion; or just to be needed in general is all she wanted.

Her fantasies were frequent and she carried her weight with less grace, a constant tension torturing her mind and body accompanied her deluded expectations. She would try to move forward… but for now everything felt a little too raw on her time hardened skin, the sky was a little too blue and often gave her headaches, the world was a little too dull and careless for her without Lelouch in it.


End file.
